Thursday, October 27, 2011

{the internet is blowing my MIND right now}

this is the best. if you say it's not, we could maybe have a fight.

{breaking news: the snark mark}

today is going to be fantastic.
first thing: jian ghomeshi tweeted at me. i only have one friend in real life who would find that remotely exciting, but the point is not that.

the morning escalated quickly when i found out about a punctuation mark i previously didn't know existed.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS SUCH THING AS A SNARK MARK?
big news, because i'm, like, the queen of the snark. i've been known to be called {by a guy once} the Snark Shark.

for a snark shark, a snark mark is a lark.
without further ado:


found here, along with more punctuation your life has been missing. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

{the pregnant waddle}

i've noticed myself standing with my hands on my lower back a lot lately, resting them on my belly when i sit down, and even, at times, doing The Pregnant Waddle.
like last night, i did the Pregnant Waddle all the way across the home depot parking lot.

i think it's because everyone i know seems to be having babies and doing The Pregnant Waddle and maybe my subconscious just thinks it's cool or attractive or something.

i don't know. it's weird.

ps: this isn't a clever way of telling you i'm pregnant. i tell you the truth: i'm just waddling for fun or something.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

{whoa.}

i just watched this news report on two girls switched at birth who lived just down the road from one another and only discovered the "mistake" {i feel like there should be a more serious word for something like this} when they were 12 years old because one of the fathers wanted a paternity test.



it's pretty crazy, sure, but the part i don't get is why it took both families 12 years to notice that the white family had this random persian daughter and the persian family down the street had this random white daughter the same age.

i mean, i think at the hospital i would've been all, "say, nurse, do they normally come out a different ethnicity? will she grow into her norwegian-ness or could this baby possibly belong to that black-haired lady over there holding that little blond bundle?"

also, what's the dad doing bringing this up now? was his daughter entering her moody teenage years and he thought he might have better luck with a different one?

bad news for YOU, sir: all of the teenage girls act somewhat like teenage girls. you can't just go around saying people aren't yours because they want to spend too much money all the time and whine about everything.

Monday, October 24, 2011

{sad thing}

i like sad things.
don't get me wrong; i'm not a sad person.
but give me a sad song or a sad movie or a sad poem, and i'm, ironically, a happy camper.

so here is a beautifully sad thing for your monday.
if it makes you sad, i'm sorry. 
but if you were me, it would cheer you up instead.





Saturday, October 22, 2011

{blogcrashers: the weekend edition}

hannah is back, and this might just be her longest, most molls-esque vlog yet. this week, hannah discusses her self-pity, shares some more interesting finds from the library, and comments on haylie duff's acting career.



{blogcrashers is a weekly guest vlog by my illustrious friend, hannah. you can visit her blog here: www.todayinmyteenageangst.blogspot.com}

Friday, October 21, 2011

{playlist for the weekend}


happy friday, you.
{if you're in the reader or an email, you'll have to click through for the tunes.}

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

{breakfasts is peoples too}

i live in one of those neighbourhoods. they call it 'the cathedral village', and it's full of cute little shops owned by hipsters who only work when they feel like it and will often throw customer service to the wind if they deem you unworthy of it. i have many stories of being kicked out of change rooms for no reason, being served only half of what i ordered {because the barista's shift ended right in the middle of pouring my drink}, and being told, "we're not serving coffee right now--it's too busy," at an eerily quiet coffee shop.

these modern-day hippies really know how to run a business.

despite the obvious feelings of resentment i might be storing up towards certain establishments in the village, i often wander it. if nothing else, there is always something to look at.

they call them "art installations."

giant metal ants up in the trees, quotes about peace tied to strings dangling from street signs, 20 hats perched randomly on a park bench, giant paper mache models of caterpillars and cocoons and butterflies on the library lawn. it's as if there's a committee which wanders the streets, making and naming messes as they go along. i'm sure there are political statements and profound life lessons and awarenesses being raised in each installation, but they are almost always impossible for us lowly average citizens to make out.

nonetheless, the idea intrigues me.

this morning, barclay came into the dining room and found his wife drawing on the eggs and arranging the bacon.
"why are you drawing on the eggs and arranging the bacon?" he asked.
"it's an art installation," i said. "it's called breakfasts is peoples too."


you know, to raise awareness.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

{advice}

today is a good day for some advice, and it just so happens that i even have a bit of that for you.
aren't you glad we're friends?

preface:

i'm a possibilities-sorter. if given an opportunity, my brain does this thing where it goes all computer on me and sorts through dozens of possible outcomes and things that could go wrong and things that could go right and how hard it could be and if it'll be embarrassing or time consuming and so on and then it weighs it all on some invisible mental scale and before i can even factor in if i want to do said thing, it spits out a quick, maybe inaccurate computation. and i end up saying no to a lot of opportunities.

that's lame.

so last month, i came across some opportunities that i'd normally compute myself out of even considering. and then i smoked myself upside my silly head and decided to skip the evaluations and the considerations and just say yes.

not that i'm telling you to recklessly run around doing everything; that is neither healthy nor smart.

i'm saying that you should not do nothing.

enter a contest. an art contest, a photography contest, a writing contest. take on a challenge. try something else. buy some watercolours. put it out there. don't be offended if it's not recognized or if it doesn't win or if no one likes it.

it's okay, because the sweetness of it isn't in that part anyway.

i entered imogen heap's cd cover art contest a bit ago. she'd given a word, and wanted a picture that captured the word. and i don't have a high-class camera or very much picture-taking knowledge at all, but i entered anyway, and i spent a really sweet hour or two wandering around my neighbourhood trying to find the word in back alleys and parks and city streets.

i didn't win, but i don't even care at all.

before that, i got a couple emails offering money for artwork. my brain computed, "no, because then you'd have to do a really good job and you're not good enough to charge money for this stuff and--" and other stuff that brains say when they're being debbie downers.

so the next time i got one of those emails, this time asking for a blog design, i made myself say yes.
and it was fun!
and i made a new friend out of it.

{click on the screen shot to go say hi to merritt, who is completely fantastic.}


so, i don't know. yeah. this is part shameless promotion {i'll doodle all over your blog if you want, or wherever else you'd want doodling}, part advice {you should not do nothing}, and part excitement {endless opportunities!} for future fun things.

Monday, October 17, 2011

{pickle dreams}

i had another pickle dream last night. you might be thinking, "another pickle dream? did i miss the post about the other pickle dream?"

no. i just didn't think it was of any consequence. a pickle dream on its own is just that: a dream about a pickle. or many pickles. or two.

but any time a dream is recurring, i think that means that it means more. i think that means that you need to examine it and analyze it and just turn it over and over in your head day and night. act it out in the daylight and see what is revealed.

last night, i dreamt that all the pickles in my fridge were made out of tofu. last week, i dreamt that i tasted a pickle and wished it had more vinegar.

could this mean that i need more vegetarians in my life? or less, maybe?

but, aren't pickles already vegetarian food? why would you need for your pickles to be made out of tofu*? would tofu pickles be kosher?

and then there's this:


what does it all mean?

***EDIT: TOFICKLES! haha. because that's what pickles made out of tofu would be called. mystery still unsolved though.***

Friday, October 14, 2011

{full of yourself?}

here's a fun, if not slightly {completely} narcissistic activity for you to enjoy tonight if none of your friends want to hang out with you and you feel like the least best person in the world.

1. go to grooveshark.com, and make an account. {it's free}
2. in the search box, type your name.
3. make a playlist of songs "written just for you."
4. if you can't find  any songs with your name in them, just get a bunch of songs with someone else's name, and shout your name overtop of theirs. but that might be kind of pathetic. so. maybe don't do that, actually.

fortunately, i have two names {suzy and elena, and if you don't know why, you can click the "suzy krause" button in the right sidebar}, so it was fairly easy to find songs and build myself a playlist.

here's what i got. it's awesome. and it makes me feel awesome. so that's awesome. there's even a song in french or something, and one in, maybe, spanish?--i hope they're not saying anything bad about me. {you'll have to click through if you're in google reader or subscribe by email.} either way, definitely found some gems, and some bands i'd never thought to check out before.



{people sometimes ask me where i find all my music. silly games like this definitely contribute to my itunes library.}

Thursday, October 13, 2011

{the thing that is worse than being in a waiting room}

the thing that is worse than being in a waiting room is being in a waiting room for a long time, and the thing that is worse than that is being in a waiting room for a long time while you have to pee.

i decide this.
i cross my legs.
that does not help.
why would it?
i uncross my legs.
i hold my breath which, incidentally, just makes me feel worse.

a man sits down beside me. he smells like a cigarette--i don't mean he smells like he's had a cigarette. i mean he smells like he is a cigarette.

a 267 lb cigarette with a beard and a ball cap.

i hold my breath.

shortly after my lungs turn black, the receptionist calls my name. i blow a smoke ring shaped like a doughnut and follow her back into the maze of examining rooms.

i wait some more. a lady walks past my examining room and pokes her head in. "the wait is the worst part, isn't it?" she asks. i can tell she had to wait. she's unhappy.

i say, "yes. especially when you have to go to the bathroom."

she swears and laughs and goes back to her room.

there is a tongue depressor on the floor by the garbage can. at this moment, there is nothing else grosser than that. a used tongue depressor on an examining room floor. i imagine picking it up and throwing it away. i stick my hands in my pockets.

there is a head dent on the "sanitary" paper on the examining table.

a head dent.

that is grosser.

i decide this.

if the doctor wants me to sit on the examining table, he's going to have to change that paper.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

{online}










aren't you glad we have the internet? i'd probably never actually do any of these things in real life.

Friday, October 07, 2011

{paper + the sweetest little diy}

down the street by the cupcake shop and the used book store, there is a little paper shop where i buy all my stationary and journals. 

i feel like paper shops are kind of up there with brushing your teeth and not letting the dishes sit in the sink for too long. maybe because sometimes i feel like i need to write, but i don't really have any motivation. and that's when a really fantastic journal or really beautiful letter paper comes in handy. 

some lately favourites:

1} this stationery/envelope set. i can't remember the name of the artist, sadly. this is my favourite stuff ever to write letters on. ever. of all the times. 



you just write up a quick note on the inside, address it, lick it, and fold it up into an envelope. 


smart, if you ask me.




right?
who doesn't love nesting dolls? 
you? get out.


on that note {OH, FUNNY GIRL}, i wanted to offer some hope to the despairing masses out there in the blogosphere reading this and lamenting the serious lack of paper shops in their general vicinity.

you can make your own ridiculously cute nesting doll note cards! i found the sweetest little diy here.



and there was great rejoicing and much gladness all throughout the cyber land.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

{RAPID FIRE DOUBLE BLOG THURSDAY POSTS}

i couldn't not post these. i'm going to watch them every five minutes periodically throughout the day. join me?





thank you, nova. a lot.

{music and rain}

today i woke up and wished it would rain, and then it rained.
that doesn't happen often, but when it does it makes me feel kind of like the queen.
so that was good.


today i have some work to do and a friend to visit with and a piano lesson to teach. but first: sleep.
i am a tired lady.

here's a wee playlist i made for sleeping to:
{you'll have to click through if you're in a reader or email}

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

{at the hairdresser}

an awkward moment is when you're at the hairdresser and she's cutting your hair and the entire time she's cutting, she's talking about what a terrible job whoever cut your hair the last time did and doesn't realize that the girl cutting someone else's hair right next to you is the one who cut your hair last time, and can totally hear everything she's saying.

you just have to pretend like you're asleep, i guess.

Monday, October 03, 2011

{the plan and the moral}

the plan was to pack our bags, head to the airport, and get on a cheap flight. we decided it at 2 pm saturday afternoon. we packed a backpack with a change of clothes and a book of sudokus and our toothbrushes and some of that travel-sized toothpaste. we were ready in under an hour to go anywhere. the problem was that the cheapest flight was over 400 bucks per person one way. and that wasn't even to go anywhere good. i wanted to throw my travel-sized toothpaste at the airplane as it soared across the sky on its way away without me.

this is the problem with airplanes. i want to go everywhere but i can't go anywhere if airplanes are going to be so ridiculous about it.

but the point is not that.


the point is that two years ago, roughly, i put on my mom's wedding dress and trucked it down the aisle towards barclay. so this week was our anniversary, right, and we wanted to go somewhere and explore.

we ended up driving around out of town a bit and exploring a local attraction neither of us had ever explored before and splitting a chocolate peanut butter banana milkshake and watching dead poets society in a fort in the living room.


and it was really nice. good. great!
fantastic, even.


and the moral of the weekend i guess is that it's a good thing to learn to have fun where you are, because you won't always be where you wish you were.

because airplanes are stupid.