{dear jian letters}

If you have not read yesterday's post, here, this post will make zero sense. Even if you're very smart.

The thing about celebrities is that they are just people. The same kind of people as the rest of us. Just smarter and better looking and funnier and richer and they do cooler stuff and someone does their make-up for them. The other thing about celebrities is that when they come on our TVs and radios on a regular basis, we start to feel like we know them. And like they should know us. BUT THEY DON'T, STUPID.

I checked my email yesterday like a lunatic, right up until I got the polite-but-not-from-Jian note from Ashley. And then I remembered that Jian Ghomeshi, however often he hangs out in my living room, no matter how warm and friendly his voice is, or what music he likes or how intelligent he sounds, is not my friend. He is a person who is very good at what he does, and who, in being that, makes everyone in Canada feel like they are his friend.

Rats. It was like Mr. Dressup all over again.

That was when I wrote yesterday's post. And slapped an old picture of long-haired 90's Jian in it just to spite him for not being my friend. As if he would ever see it and know he was being spited. {That's so typical of our relationship lately.}

Anyway, last night as I was leaving a friend's house, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Three new emails:

One from Hannah, one from spam, and one from Jian Ghomeshi.

I read the one from Hannah. {I'll reply to you this morning! I promise!}

I read and deleted the spam email.

Then I read the one from Jian Ghomeshi and it went like this:

dear suzy, 

thank you for your (public) letter to me. it is nice of you to think of my transportation needs and also to explain that you are not 60. I would not have minded if you were 60. but it was sweet that you thought to clarify that you were not 60. 

also, thank you for feeling the need to call me "forty-something" as if that's a bad thing, and for using a dodgy old photo of me from exactly 19 years ago when everyone in rock had eddie vedder hair. the fact that you chose to use that photo was mean. or funny. or both. (mean funny) 

also, I will look forward to my regina trip. and I will be in touch about any used book store recommendations. but I will not call the police. or your husband. even though your husband seems very level headed. 

yours, 

jian

A very nice letter. I can't actually tell if he hates me for calling him "forty-something" {well you are}, or if the thing about Barclay being level headed was a shot at me for not being level headed {oh well}, but at the very least I'm just glad that he's the nice guy that I thought he was. And that we're best friends. And that I own something that he wrote just for me. I'm totally printing this off and getting him to sign it. Because what are friends for?

In closing, I'll share with you my last letter, which I sent last night. I don't expect to hear from him again. In fact, he's probably getting ready for his show today and telling Ashley, "IF THAT GIRL SENDS ANY MORE EMAILS, PRINT THEM OFF AND BURN THEM." In five years when I'm famous and he's interviewing me on Q, we're going to look back on this and laugh so hard.

dear jian, 

Oh good graish. Please don't be mad at me about the "forty-something" remark or the sweet picture. I was mostly just embarrassed about this whole thing and blindly lashed out in "twenty-something" immaturity. I guess I'm a mean funny person. But mostly kind. And level headed, like my husband.

Mine, 

Suzy 

PS: I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time. I'm not really as ridiculous as I'm coming across right now. Tell your Ashley person thank you for being so nice.

{UPDATE: PART 3}