oh, oops. i didn't start at the beginning. i started at the end. but the beginning really is a better place to, you know, begin. so:
i don't know if you know this, but there is a certain crazy freedom in getting over it. in getting over other peoples' opinions of you, getting over comparing yourself to other people. because all that really boils down to being afraid that you're not good enough for people and trying way too hard to be good enough for people and you should know: that's a really crappy way to go about living your life.
i'm a paranoid person. i'm constantly afraid. what if there are robbers behind the hollyhocks in the back yard? what if the house blows up? what if the airbags in the car inflate for no good reason and break my face?
barclay is constantly laughing at me; he's not scared of that stuff. his life is about 83% less stressful than mine because he hasn't even thought of the possibility that the house might blow up {even though it totally could, you guys}.
he's only scared of things worth being scared of--you know, like if the earth opened up underneath his feet and there was a large dragon or something in there, he'd be scared. i think that's awesome. i want to be like that.
because fear is debilitating. it rips your legs straight off your body. and i just don't feel like being scared that i'm not good enough anymore. it's not worth being scared about.
and this might seem like a really little, silly thing to you, but to kick off not being scared, i dyed {some of} my hair.
it wasn't, like, this big dramatic "i'm a new person! i'm going to dye my hair!" it's just something i've always wanted to do {since grade 6} but worried about doing because i thought i might look funny. but i found the link to this site from srsly liz a few days after my "get over it" talk with julia and thought, "now's a good time for that. besides, it's just hair."
and because barclay is out of town {for work, rats!} i took some cheesy hair model pictures for him.
which you get to see...now.
sorry for the crappy web cam photos. i wish i had a real camera, so you could see all the colours. i'm SUCH a mermaid.
so who knew? not being scared is funner than being scared.
and i'm not really talking about hair dye.
38 comments:
LOVE IT. i wish my hair was blonde so i could pull this off!
heehee--you could bleach it! the dainty squid has a bunch of good tutorials and stuff...we could be samers...
I like the bits :) i have one going on at the moment where i dyed my hair a red/auburn colour then for a wedding on Saturday i had to redyee my hair as the red was growing out - i went with dark brown so i didnt stick out like a sore thumb. Now there's a chunk that starts off brown at the roots and by the ends it's red again because I didnt cover that bit very well lol.
I did the same thing with my hair a two weeks ago! (http://detailsjuliette.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/colorful/)
I feel like I'm reading my own story here, I felt the same way yesterday, but actually I've still not managed to "get over it". IT always seems like I'm the only person to have these problems, and when you read that a lot of other people has them too, I think "woah, am I that egocentric?", so I feel guilty, haha and it's like a vitious circle. Arg. You look great with this hair, I like reading your posts so much! =)
It looks fab! You have lovely hair.. I always wish mine was that long and pretty but never have the patience to grow it. You did a great job on the colour too!
you seriously look SO great with that hair color. there's nothing better than getting over it. i like that.
super cute i love it!!!!
Aw, it's cute! Good on you for being brave, hey :)
Love that you did this, and nothing beats the feeling of not being scared any more. You are SO photogenic, I love it!! :)
yay!!! I've been staring at the pictures from that site for the past couple weeks wishing I could do that (and I still might someday!!) and it looks soooo good on you!!
han: that's the fun thing about colour though eh? it doesn't really matter if there's all kinds of weird things going on--i think it looks cool when it's uneven and different colours.. :)
juliette: it really is a vicious circle. i wish you all the best on getting out of it though! i have a feeling it's going to be very worth it. i popped over to your blog and loved it and subscribed. :)
andrea: aw thanks! i don't really have the patience either but i look horrible with short hair. so i'm kind of stuck appearing patient.. :)
danielle: thank you! i'm loving it. {vain? :S} and it's true--this is one of those best decisions i've ever made type things...
lisa & elly: thank you!!! :)
emily: it's true! it's a great feeling. :) and thank you.
{here i wrote a big paragraph about why i'm not photogenic and then i erased it because i think an important part of getting over it is probably not trash talking myself.}
mich: you should!!! doooo it, dooo it, dooo it!
Yesssssss. Love the hair. It is just lovely!
Congrats on taking the first step to not being scared, you are truly an inspiration. The hair looks rad, I wish that I could do something similar.
Love it Suzy! It looks awesome on ya!
thanks sarah and courtney! :) you guys are fantastic :)
brandi: you can! doooo it, dooo it, dooo it...
i'm peer pressuring you.
I'm also the scared type. I'm always wondering like what if I go in my house and a creepy man is hiding in my bathroom closet and I'm all alone? Or what if someone in oncoming traffic swerves into my lane randomly. Then I think about how horrible a head on collision would feel and how my tires would explode and on and on...it really does suck.
Anyway, your hair is gorgeoussss! I love it! =]
I loved your last post!
Your mermaid hair is spectacular!
jamie: YES, the highway oncoming traffic thing! all the time. absolutely. i think that may be something i need to work on.... haha :) and thanks.
ashley: thank you very very much!
Seriously. You are gorgeous. I'm jealous of your white-blonde hair. When my hairdresser bleaches streaks in my hair (before dying them) my hair doesn't go white, just a weird yellowish-orange.
You are so cool. :)
Well... I love your hair. And I think I will post that poem at some point... it was written when I was trying to let go of my middle school self, I suppose.
And I think guys are just made to be "fearless." I was watching Lost with Anthony last night, and I was like, "I don't want to fly on a plane. At least in a car you can crash and someone will find you. If you crash in a plane on a deserted island, you're dead." It sounds absurd to say it out loud, but for a full five seconds I was reconsidering my method of travel! He just stared at me and then told me that I'm a silly person. I guess it's true. Ha
you are so beautiful!!
i love the mermaid hair. ariel aint got nothin on you!
SUZY!!! Your hair looks amazing! You DO look like a mermaid! Ahh! I love it!
aw chess, thanks. :) and thanks for the mega blog love! i voted for you, and i'll try get a post up here telling people to run over there and vote too. {my husband just got back last night after being away for a week so i'm a tad distracted. :D
liz: it's a good thing guys are naturally fearless. maybe it'll rub off on me someday. til then, he can protect me...
i can't wait to read your poem.
anna: aw, thank you! i've always like mermaids. so. SWEET. :D
amylou: THANK YA. :D {yay}
You're a be-u-tiful mermaid. Does Barclay love it or is he now scared?
sanks nova! :)
jen: SHOULD he be scared? do i look scary with my purple hairs?
haha, he loves it. :D
totally awesome hair. and you're super cute. and yay for getting over things :)
aw, thanks danielle! :D
Your mermaid hair is the best! I LOVE IT! :) There is a nice sense of freedom in getting over it. :) Another great post!
thank you amyschmamey! you always make me grin. i think i've said that before like 20 times.
oh well!
that looks sooo good on you suzy!
also, i have the same issue. i hate being scared. i have to give myself pep talks to get out of being paranoid sometimes and it just takes up way too much energy! it is funner being not scared.
Geesh! Once again I lost touch with your blog (it wasn't coming into my reader) but I'm back and I luuuuuuve your hair!! Of course, there's simply nothing you could do that would make you UNcute, cause you're like the definition of CUTE. :)
gale: maybe if we all gave each OTHER those pep talks, they would be more effective?
go gale go, go gale go...don't be afraid! you can do it!
etc?
chantelle: i was wondering where you went! are you still blogging? because i haven't gotten any updates from your blog in like a month! i miss you!
I am about 100% jealous of your hair. I recently put a bit of pink in mine but my hair is darker then yours and harder to see. yours is amazing.
aw, thank you! also: i can see yours in the picture on your blog---it doesn't look hard to see at all! i love it! i think hair colour could get addicting...
So today... I felt something telling me to go to your blog. So I did. And I was randomly perusing, when these words jumped out of my computer screen and smacked me in the face (in a good way):
"because fear is debilitating. it rips your legs straight off your body. and i just don't feel like being scared that i'm not good enough anymore. it's not worth being scared about."
You are completely right... it's NOT worth it. At all. Not even in the slightest. And I just wanted to tell you that I needed to read those four sentences today, more than you could possibly know. <3
aw, kelly ann! thanks for your comment. :) it's something i'm learning in a BIG way lately, so i'm glad if i can put it out there for others too.
blogland is magic. :)
so gorgeous! love it!
thank you! i'm liking it quite a bit still. :)
Post a Comment