{i am more afraid}

one time, this happened:

i screamed and mom came running and i pointed at the offending piece of spider scramming up the wall and mom said it wasn't that big even though it was and then she said one of those things that moms say that are meant to be reassuring but are actually just confusing: "spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them."

and i've always thought of that. a futile thing to dispute because no matter where i started i always ended at but moms are always right therefore spiders ARE more afraid. 

i thought of it again last week when there came to be a spider living on the toilet, the only toilet in our house, and i had to, you know, hold it until i got brave, and it turns out that fear is stronger than any other thing, and so i, you know, held it all day.

and so as i was sitting there in the room farthest from the bathroom wishing i could drink some water but not daring to, i thought, "if i was a centimetre tall, and there was a house full of 5 and 6-foot spiders, i would neeeeeeeever be brave enough to go sit on their toilet unless i was completely unafraid of them."

and, i guess, that was the day that i proved my mother wrong.
i am more afraid.