Welp, it's New Year's Eve and I'm coming to you live from not a New Year's Eve party. Again.
Womp, womp, womp... (My computer tried to autocorrect that to "Womb, womb, womb." Because that makes more sense.)
Want to hear tales of New Year's Eve Pasts where I also wasn't at a New Year's Eve party?
I remember this one NYE where I wasn't invited to The Party (I lived in a small town, so there was usually only One Party to go to). I sat on my futon and wrote in my diary about what a loser I was while The Party raged on just a few miles from my house (I lived on a farm, actually, beside the small town).
Another year, The Party was at my house, and, much to my surprise, the cool kids came!
But then.
They informed me upon arrival that they were only there because their moms made them come and that they were going to stay for half an hour and then go to their own The Party. My party got demoted to lower case p in front of everyone. So I sat on my futon and wrote a letter to my best friend about what a loser I was.
Another year, I went to The Party and nothing really happened; it was a very boring party.
Which basically brings us to the present. I'm not sure right now if I'm sad that I don't have New Year's plans tonight (for maybe the third year in a row?) or relieved that I'm in my pyjamas already... Maybe I'm mostly worried that this has some kind of negative effect on my cool rating. But probably lots of other people aren't at parties tonight (please tell me this is true) for whatever reason and, when you're almost 30, your cool really isn't determined by whether you're at a party or not. Your cool is determined by how many different kinds of Pinterest Popcorn you can make and consume in one evening and how many episodes of Freaks and Geeks you watched while eating said popcorn. Right?
So I'll just be over here working on that cool and not writing anywhere about what a loser I am.
Womp, womp, womp... (My computer tried to autocorrect that to "Womb, womb, womb." Because that makes more sense.)
Want to hear tales of New Year's Eve Pasts where I also wasn't at a New Year's Eve party?
I remember this one NYE where I wasn't invited to The Party (I lived in a small town, so there was usually only One Party to go to). I sat on my futon and wrote in my diary about what a loser I was while The Party raged on just a few miles from my house (I lived on a farm, actually, beside the small town).
Another year, The Party was at my house, and, much to my surprise, the cool kids came!
But then.
They informed me upon arrival that they were only there because their moms made them come and that they were going to stay for half an hour and then go to their own The Party. My party got demoted to lower case p in front of everyone. So I sat on my futon and wrote a letter to my best friend about what a loser I was.
Another year, I went to The Party and nothing really happened; it was a very boring party.
Which basically brings us to the present. I'm not sure right now if I'm sad that I don't have New Year's plans tonight (for maybe the third year in a row?) or relieved that I'm in my pyjamas already... Maybe I'm mostly worried that this has some kind of negative effect on my cool rating. But probably lots of other people aren't at parties tonight (please tell me this is true) for whatever reason and, when you're almost 30, your cool really isn't determined by whether you're at a party or not. Your cool is determined by how many different kinds of Pinterest Popcorn you can make and consume in one evening and how many episodes of Freaks and Geeks you watched while eating said popcorn. Right?
So I'll just be over here working on that cool and not writing anywhere about what a loser I am.
4 comments:
Totally true. I was at home on the sofa and I think just about everyone else I interact with was, too.
Would you believe me if I told you that I usually prefer to stay home and go to bed early on New Year's Eve? Something about waking up early on the 1st is really refreshing. Man! I kinda wish I could reach through time and hang out with teenager Suzy. Those kids didn't know what was up!
Your past NYEs are mine exactly. I promised myself I wouldn't put myself through the misery anymore, so now I stay home and eat lots of food and watch movies. It has yet to disappoint me.
We stayed home and watched the last three Harry Potter movies, and I wouldn't have had it any other way!
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