Day 39: The Bunny, The Wasp, and The Bird

There was a bunny, first of all, and Scarlett was terrified of it. I was inside and I heard her screaming.

"HE'S GONNA GET ME! NO!! GET AWAY!"

I, of course, sprinted out there, ready to hit an adult man over the head with a shovel but...it was a bunny. Sully assured me that he could take care of it. He took a step in the bunny's direction and the bunny hit the road, as bunnies tend to do. Sully turned to me.

"I have a pretty good mean face," he said.

Scarlett nodded. "I has a pretty good mean face too," she said, because she mostly just says whatever Sully says.

So that was that.

But then there was a wasp.

I'd gone back into the house and picked up my coffee cup, and no sooner had I raised it to my lips than two shrill screams called me back outside. I met them at the door.

"There's a wasp!" Sully yelled at me, his face beet red. "I think! Is it warm enough for wasps now!?"

I shrugged. "Maybe?"

"I think it is, Mom!"

Scarlett looked like she was going to burst into tears. "I SINK IT IS, MOM, TOO!"

So I gave them hugs and told them not to, like, hit a wasp's nest or anything, but that they'd probably be fine and Scarlett watched Sully to see if they were still afraid and it seemed like they weren't so she calmed down and followed him back outside.

I retreated back into my cool, quiet kitchen, back to where my coffee was getting cold on the counter. I picked it up and paused. No screaming. Great. I took a drink.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT'S IN MY HAIR!!!!!"

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"NO!!!!!!!"

"GET IT OFF!!!!"

Etc, etc.

They were like two little ambulances screaming into the house, sirens blaring. They were beside themselves. I couldn't even understand them at first.

Sully made it to me first. "MOM THERE'S A WASP IN SCARLETT'S HAIR."

"MOM DERE'S A WASP IN MY HAIR."

Now Scarlett was crying and flapping her hands around her head and Sully was flapping his hands around her head too and someone was screaming again.

And then I saw it. It wasn't a wasp at all.

I'm sure it felt like a wasp when it landed on her head. And I'm sure Sully saw it land in his peripheral vision, and I'm sure it looked like a wasp because that's what he was expecting. And I think it's cute that he was so upset on her behalf that she had a wasp in her hair.

But it wasn't a wasp.

"It's not a wasp," I said, and the screaming stopped almost instantaneously.

Sully peered over at Scarlett. "Oh," he said. "But I saw it fly in there." But then he saw what it was. He squinted at it.

"Nope," I said. "Not a wasp."

Scarlett, relieved to know that whatever was in her hair was not going to sting her fingers, reached up to touch it.

"Oh, nope!" I pulled her little hand away. "Let's go have a shower."

Sully's eyes got huge. "Scarlett," he said seriously, "a bird pooped on your head."

And then the three of us laughed and laughed and laughed and one of us went off to have a shower.

My coffee got cold and I'm finally drinking it now, six hours later.

The End.