2021

Okay, looking ahead now, because far be it from me to write a post about, I don't know, our basement renovation on the first day of a new year:

2021. 

Never before (at least, never before in my lifetime) has a year been so universally, almost desperately, anticipated. Me? I feel...quietly optimistic, I guess. I feel like it'll still be a while until the vaccination is widespread enough to achieve that Back to Normal effect we're all craving, but it's pretty thrilling to think things are trending in that direction. I also feel quietly pessimistic, but that's fine.

It's strange, stepping into this new year. It's the first one in a while I haven't been looking ahead to a specific, year-defining personal Event. No book releases, no concerts or music festivals, no trips, no incoming (er...out...coming? I guess?) babies, none of those milestone-type things that inform the shape and speed and feel of the upcoming twelve months. And not only are there no big things, there aren't even very many little things. In-person school isn't guaranteed. There will be no weekly coffee dates in friends' living rooms, no trips to the museum down the street, no date nights at The Exchange or The Artesian. How will I know it's Tuesday and not Wednesday? Trick question: the answer is WHO CARES. Tuesday and Wednesday are the same now. Calendars are purely decorative.

I usually feel, at the start of a new year, like I'm walking into a framed building, like my job is to add the walls and windows and drywall. Paint it, decorate it, live in it. This year I'm just like, where are we building this thing? What, exactly, are we building? 

...Are we building something? 

2021 has no tent poles, no structure. I have arrived at the construction site, and the foreman is taking a nap in a wheelbarrow. 

I've been seeing people all over instagram today "setting their intentions" and "choosing their word for 2021" and I'm one part Good for you!, one part I should do that!, and three parts LOL no.

Set intentions? For 2021? That's like going on a road trip through an uncharted wasteland and saying, "On our way through this uncharted wasteland, we're going to stop at McDonald's for Egg McMuffins." You don't know there'll be a McDonald's. Why set yourself up for disappointment? 

Then again, maybe a trip through an uncharted wasteland is easier if you have something to look forward to, even if that thing may never actually materialize. Maybe that's the trick in a nutshell—to hope for a McDonald's as opposed to, say, a locally-owned coffee shop that roasts their own beans and has a nice, clean bathroom for you to use.

Or maybe you just go all out, set your expectations up by the moon, and practice being flexible. 

So, okay, sure. I'll set some...intentions. (Goals, resolutions, whatever. People are very anti-resolution/goal these days, very precious about the exact wording here, but I don't get it and I don't care.) I'll make a few plans. Somewhere between McDonald's and the moon. 

1. I would like to blog a lot more. 

(I have completely forgotten how to write for fun, and this is making it very hard to write for work. Blogging is what made me love writing in the first place, so I'm going to cross my fingers that putting words down here, where it doesn't matter at all, will rekindle something in my brain. They say that's how it works. I hope they're right.)

2. I would like to finish this book I've been working on for two and a half million years. 

(Item 1 should beget item 2, if they're right and if I'm lucky.)

3. I would like to pick up some other random hobby or skill, OR pick up an old one. 

(Just something creative that isn't writing. I would like to make time for it and work hard at it. Maybe something I could include the kids in.)

4. I would like to read more books than I read this year. 

(Barclay has become a major book worm this year and he read more books than me and I feel insecure about it. This year: IT IS WAR—I mean, IT IS A CHANCE TO SPEND SOME COZY EVENINGS ON THE COUCH WITH A BLANKET AND A DECAF LATTE AND A GOOD BOOK.)

5. I would like to emerge from this pandemic once and for all and go...I don't know...to Winnipeg! Saskatoon! Calgary! I don't even CARE I just want to stay in a hotel and eat at a restaurant. Maybe hop on an airplane! I COULD GO TO TORONTO! I COULD RIDE THE SUBWAY. That's the dream, right there. I sincerely miss riding the subway.

(This feels closer to the moon than McDonald's.)

6. I want to use the caps lock key a lot less. I need to chill out.

7. Oof. That reminds me: I would like to spend a lot less time on Twitter feeling irritated at people. This morning, I saw a lady on there Tweeting about how she went up to a stranger in a bookstore and shamed them in front of their kids for the book they were buying and everyone on Twitter was like, "GOOD FOR YOU THAT BOOK IS STUPID AND THAT PERSON IS STUPID"  and then someone was like, "Maybe you shouldn't shame people in bookstores for buying books you don't like" and she blocked that person, even though the person in the bookstore didn't have the option to block her when she shamed them for buying a book in a bookstore and I felt so upset about all of it even though it had nothing to do with me. But really, people are just going to be ridiculous on Twitter and I just need to learn to not go over there. Also, there I go with that caps lock key again.

8. Same as 7, but Facebook.

9. I want to learn how to do a mirror glaze on a cake. 

(Watch out, all of my friends. You're going to start receiving so many crappily-mirror-glazed cakes from me in the coming months.)

10. I would like to drink less coffee and more water.

I could go on, but wow this is getting long. And, like, I'm not even taking breaks in between numbers; these are just flying out of me. This is either a sign that I have SO MUCH IMPROVING TO DO THIS YEAR, or that the whole blogging-to-remember-how-to-write-for-fun-again thing is already working.

Either way, happy new year, and talk to you soon.