{scary things}

i've been trying out some scary things lately. earlier this year, i got offered a sweet little job doing tv interviews with bands and stuff for a local cable show. i was pretty pumped about it, because i love talking music and i love shows and i love free shows and i love jian ghomeshi...but at the very, very last minute, i literally sent the guy an email that said, "i'm inadequate for this. you should probably get someone else. sorry for being a flake."

and i felt sad about it. i almost sent a retraction email, saying, "i'll be bad at first, but i can learn! i'm flaking on my flake!" i didn't, though. that would've been silly. but i did decide that the next time someone offered me an opportunity like that, i'd jump at it. and i'd stick to it until they told me i couldn't do it. because it's ridiculous how often i shut myself down, how often i get into the boxing ring with someone else and then punch my own self in the face.

but the point is not that.

the point is that not even a week later, i got an email from an entertainment promotion and events hosting organization that's expanding in the city. they hook bands up with gigs and write up reviews for them and organize events in the arts community. pretty cool. they asked for kind of the same thing as the cable people--interviews, show reviews, etc--except in writing. i thought, "IDEAL," and i said, "YES."

anyway. i'm not telling you all this because i expect you'll actually care about all the ins and outs of what i do in my free time; i'm telling you this because yesterday was my first interview and i feel a little like i look in that picture above. i mean, just as i expected, i got all nervous and said a lot of stupid things and asked some really. dumb. questions. but then it was over and i wasn't flat on my back and i knew the things that i could change for next time and thought of some better ways i could have worded stuff, and i'm excited for my next one. practise makes better, at least. you can read it here if you want.

anyway. i guess another The Point is that we all need to stop expecting that we'll be perfect at stuff on our first go. unless we're brain surgeons. there is a little more pressure there.

and who knows? maybe someday the cable people will call again. and i'll sit on my hands and say, "YES."