{wuss in love}

Barclay had to go out of town for business stuff. Every time this happens, it's like I revert to being a 12 year-old. I walk around the house looking at stuff and wondering what I should do about it.

Piles of junk on that couch? Oh. I'll sit on this other couch.

Dishes in the sink? I don't know; I guess I just won't go in the kitchen anymore.

2 o'clock in the afternoon? Oh yeah, lunch. Spaghetti and butter, or a Pop Tart?

Actually, who needs food anyway? I'm going to listen to sad music, dye my hair, and lay on the floor, sighing. {I'm the Pavlov's dog of hair dyeing. Every time Barclay leaves town, I get out the hair dye.} He's coming home today, which is improving my mood exponentially. I'm even going to go do the dishes and vacuum the floors after I finish taking awkward selfies in the bathroom mirror. I should probably also mention that he's only been gone one night. What can I say? I'm an extreme wuss and I'm in love.

Also, I'm a mermaid. {Please help!}

{at my dining table}

I spend so much time at my dining table. Eating, yeah, but mostly crafting, doodling, working, making, thinking. It's right between two big sunny windows, the power cable for my laptop reaches the outlet from here, and it's just a solid place to put a lot of stuff. A baby elephant could hang out on that corner over there and I'd still be able to tap away on my laptop over here.

Today, at my dining table, I'm working on Paper Umbrella stuff and listening to music, trying to get familiar with some new artists before I head off to Toronto next month for a music festival {MEDIA ACCREDITATION'D, BABY}. {{Sorry, I didn't mean to call you baby.}}

I still have to apply for band interviews and book flights and figure out schedules and stuff, and I don't remember what the deadlines are or even which days I'm going and it feels a little overwhelming at times, but then I'm like SUZY IT'S MUSIC SHUT UP and I feel better about everything. 

Music is not supposed to stress anyone out. 

{weekend snapshots}

Sometimes I actually wonder if time flexes and shrinks; if, even though a minute is always always sixty seconds, sometimes those seconds are quicker or slower than others. If one day can be twice as long as another day with the same amount of hours in it.

I know, I know: clocks. Clocks with their steady, constant ticking and their hastening hands and their exactly-evenly-spaced numbers. Still. I've looked my kitchen clock in the face and I don't quite trust it.

There is, maybe, a conspiracy here? Someone with a universal fast-forward button, skipping over all the good minutes so that you have to swallow them whole before you've even tasted them? Because I'm scrolling back through my Instagram feed and thinking that this weekend shouldn't even be over yet, let alone the entire month of February.

Rats.

{abner & the volcanic crater of free time}

I've been distracted. I've been working more, filling out applications for exciting events, booking flights, having crazy ideas, keeping secrets, running around, having adventures, putting myself out there, doing scary things, enjoying the hilarity and awkwardness and challenges and just trying to keep that dang kitchen clean in the midst of all of it.

The kitchen is the messiest room in the house, always. You eat a bagel and suddenly there's a stack of dishes and spaghetti sauce running down the front of the fridge and, like, living things under the sink. I don't know how it happens.

But this morning I woke up and found some plans suddenly switched and a spare chunk of time opening up before me like a yawning volcanic crater in an apocalyptic movie. I jumped in with no hesitation. I put on some coffee. I put on some music. I read some blogs I've been missing. I drew a picture of a dinosaur on post-it notes and named him Abner: King of First Impressions and Crokinole.

I still have lots to do today, and I will get around to it in exactly nine minutes. But this is so, so nice.

{love letters}

Paper Umbrella {the adorable little stationary shop down the street that I've been working for, in case you've forgotten} had a little contest this February. They asked their customers to send in love letters {to any person/thing/place} to be displayed in the shop on Valentine's Day, and then from the entries they drew three winners to receive a prize from their store.

To announce the winners of the contest on their blog, I made this little video. And I wanted to share it with you, because I feel like I need to introduce you, somehow, to this family that I've been coming to know and love so much. Brad and Theresa are the owners of Paper Umbrella, and the little boy in the video is theirs.

He also happens to be a piano student of mine, and right at the beginning of the video when he has his hands behind his back, it's because he's hiding a picture of flowers that he painted for me. {!} I need to tell you about his last piano lesson too, which just happened to be on Valentine's Day, and which was one of the most precious moments of my entire life.

But the point, right now, is not that. The point is: here is a video I made. And: isn't this family just so dang cute?

{the big pink elephant}

Let's not ignore the big pink elephant in the room; it's Valentine's Day.

Some of you are groaning, and some of you have that heart-eye thing going on, but whoever you are or whatever your situation, surely you don't mind listening to good old love songs... So, you know, I made a wee playlist for you. I want you to listen to each song and mentally insert your own name in place of every "you", and pretend I'm the one singing.

I'm just kidding, obviously. That would probably accelerate our relationship in a super creepy way.

Anyway. Happy V-Day.

{Click on any song below to go to the playlist on Grooveshark}
1. All I Need - Radiohead
2. Mr. Polite - The Jungle Giants
3. Radar Detector - Darwin Deez
4. You Remind Me - Andy Shauf
5. Listen Close - Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
6. Song for You - Alexi Murdoch
7. Let You Break - William Fitzsimmons
8. Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips
9. There is A Light that Never Goes Out - The Smiths
10. Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
11. The Girl - City and Colour
12. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
13. Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung

Oh! And click here to see the best Valentines I've ever, ever seen.

{balloons and freelance whales}

I love those afternoons where I actually have nothing to do. I spent one last week like this: {From this DIY on A Beautiful Mess}

A friend gave me 20 blank canvases a few months back {because he's moving to Spain and didn't want to lug along 20 blank canvases} and I had these prints I made a couple weeks ago that I wanted to do something with. So, this. But now that I've started, I can't stop. And I'm going to have a mound of silly balloon pictures lying around the house.

But. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. {That's, like, a really wise-old-sage-sounding way of talking about procrastinating.}

{an open letter to everybody, ever}

I have two of them myself 
And, boy, they sure are neat
But never, ever, any time
Would I touch my feet

I watch kids, they pick their feet
They pick them with bare hands
I watch dead skin cells flutter down
And who knows where they land

But adults, yes, they do it too--
They love to touch their toes
Dactyls dallying in diaphoresis 
Too strong for any nose

Your feet! They walk on bathroom floors!
They grow bacteria!
And when I watch you touch your feet,
I get hysteria.

This is not a joke.

Whether they tread on laminate
Carpet or concrete
Leave them there, do not bend down
Please don't touch your feet

This poem was inspired by three separate instances of foot-touching this week. You guys, feet are gross. Wash them, clip your toe nails, and then wash your hands with warm soapy water and leave them be. They are not toys; they are not pets. They are bacterial smorgasbords. Then you go and play in them and then touch the door handle. And then how do I get out of the house? You are gross.

Happy Friday.

{dare you to move}

I'm listening to CDs today. Isn't that so incredibly old school of me? I feel good about it. I have this old black CD binder full of music from grades 7-12, so it's quite a mix. Embarrassing, largely, but not entirely. I'm enjoying some Aaron Weiss and Cake and Jimmy Eat World. I'm remembering road trips and friends I haven't seen in ages and ridiculous, excessive, and unnecessary drama with those friends. It was like reality TV without the TV. You know: reality. Do they still have that?

Anyway. On one of my mix CDs, I came across the song that was supposed to be my class's grad song {SOMEONE switched the track at the last possible second and we walked out to Thank You For Being a Friend instead, which pretty much killed me}. The song was supposed to be Dare You to Move by Switchfoot.

It doesn't matter now, because graduation is overly hyped and no one remembers anything about it except the parts that were disappointing anyway. But it matters a little bit because of how much I hated that other song.

So, just in case you were wondering what I'm up to this afternoon until my piano students get here, I'm painting and singing along to this at the top of my lungs. And the windows are open and my neighbors hate me. Cheers, neighbors! Dare you to move.

Haha. Pun.